i wish there was a non-assholeish way to say “our friendship has run its course, you make me uncomfortable with your feelings and a lot of shit you do pisses me off bye”
There we go.
FALL OUT BOY ARTIST OF THE YEAR!
me: hey American friend i bought this football for you
American friend: *stops playing the banjo and cleaning their guns and drinking their soda* Oh y’all know me too well I love them good ol’ sports hell yeah
when my friend had her first kiss, she told everyone her mouth got laid
she didn’t realize that everyone thought she’d given a blowjob on the first date